I d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ want to learn how to swim.

    As a child I was terrified of the water. Maybe like most people, I was afraid of drowning, but it was more than that. Maybe it was the feeling of uncertainty and the loose yet rigid medium surrounding you, or maybe it was simply my skin.
    Growing up with Eczema was a constant hassle, but growing up with Eczema AND a family who loves the water was even crazier. I never wanted to learn how to swim because of my skin condition. Living with a compromised skin barrier gifted me with a piercing pain that shot through my face, neck, and arms whenever I wanted to have fun in chlorine or salt water. This horrible experience was basically just a normality during family vacations. "This isn't fair!", I always thought to myself. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to learn how to swim?
    "Swimmer", an autobiography by Nicole Dennis-Benn, sets up a symbol of swimming as it connects to the art of perseverance in being an immigrant. She highlights how the ability to swim out of a current is her measurement of success. In doing so, we can acknowledge the importance of realizing your situation and doing our best to get out of it. As I grew older, I began to realize that maybe there isn't anything I can really do except swim. Maybe it all really does just boil down to something as simple as just doing it. It's not like I'd stand around and pretend that if I learnt how to swim it wouldn't hurt, but instead if I finally accept that my Eczema is inevitable, then all my focus would go to finally learning how to swim. I've realized that this equivalent exchange is something that exists in everyday life. So, when I find that I'm going through a struggle, I'll remind myself that it most likely won't be a comfortable process to get out, and that's okay.  
    In reality, maybe here and there on my path of learning to swim, you'll catch me franticly running out of the water in search of a towel to dry my body of the chlorine water. But what you won't catch me doing is just staying there and giving up, so just know that I'll soon get back in.
    

Comments

  1. Aditya SheelvanthSeptember 21, 2025 at 12:42 PM

    I really liked how you connected your personal experience with eczema to the idea of perseverance in Swimmer. Your reflection on facing discomfort but still pushing forward was really inspiring. The ending image of jumping back into the water made your essay feel both honest and hopeful.

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  2. Jessica DengSeptember 21, 2025 at 12:50 PM

    I like how you kind of connected this back to adapting as a way to achieve freedom; especially in circumstances where there isn't one specific "enemy" (such as in the ocean) the best you can do is to push through

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  3. Sophia DengSeptember 21, 2025 at 5:58 PM

    To take Swimmer and use it in the physical sense of actually swimming is an interesting idea. In Swimmer Benn pushes against what's expected of her in ways she can control, and backs off to float with the current when she can't control her situation. By swimming you do the same thing, accepting something you can't control but still trying to push and progress past it. Also triple Deng time.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Noah KwokSeptember 21, 2025 at 6:46 PM

    As someone who also deals with severe eczema I can relate to your experience with swimming. Growing up in the pool meant constant use of aquaphor and cream steroids to help prevent the scratching. If you ever need someone to help you out, I will always go swimming with you.

    ReplyDelete

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